for the strength to be strong
for the will to carry on

why are we always our worst critics? isn't it about time we all learn to be kinder to ourselves?

it takes so many turns in life to realise a little self-loving might be the only solution to the vicious curse of insecurity.


and then i sink back into that blue chair and drown myself with bottomless insecurities. how smart.

just finished watching the little mermaid 3.. which is a prequel to the original mermaid. i find this trend interesting.. to do a prequel after the original work of art.. and i guess it gives alot of liberating ideas to the original film/novel itself. think - wide sargasso sea to jane eyre. reading jean rhys changed my perception to the novel completely! but of course, interesting hardly equals to bloody brilliant. while wide sargasso sea is bloody brilliant, the little mermaid 3 is a bloody waste of time bleh.


james joyce baffles me. i got so restless with it that i fidgeted non stop in advanced modernism class yesterday. its not that i didn't read the portrait of a young man as an artist. i did! and i like it. but this sequel stuns me so badly. prof told us that when she was doing her undergrad studies for lit, her prof made them read the entire ulysses. i'm just glad that she's only making us read 3 excerpts. but bad enough ok! a work without punctuation makes me breathless to read.


and so the decision to cast it aside for the time being. i think i need a lot of patience and concentration to truly enjoy Ulysses.

assignments are clogging up my living space. so many research to do and thesis to think about. but so little time. now that everybody is busy enjoying their recess week, literature majors are most probably found slogging away in various libraries.


i'm in need of some very good food! and hardcore shopping! might save my life. but right now, i'm going to have my fav cup of earl grey and think about a good thesis to submit for my advanced modernism class.

virginia woolf is good stuff! shucks. i'm probably one of those few weirdos who enjoys her superfluous descriptions about every single thing.. from church bells to nightingales.... probably because i'm excessive myself.


6 months since my last entry and i should say... nothing's changed. life is still about reading and writing. i'm still thinking about the same people every night and i still worry about the same things everyday. and i'm still obsessed with the same things. so yup, lets hope it gets better. the optimist in me is crawling out. slowly, but surely.

God answered all my prayers in one single night. amazing :)

stress level's reached its peak. i have no other options but to binge non stock on junk food. they keep me  happier.


i was envying the a level kids on my way home today. envy is a green eye monster.

sloth is brown.



watched the battle of algiers til 3am in the morning. hence i concussed in modernism class while listening to t.s eliot reciting his waste land. 30 minutes of modernist poetry. yea, an excellent piece of lullaby.

hello, i am jack's wasted life.